A veces hablo con gente de mi pasado para recordar cómo era. Pero nunca vuelvo a ser ella. No sé si no quiero o no puedo. No puedo porque como diría el loco "cosas pasan". Buscadas o no, pero pasan y arrasan con lo conocido, tambaleando los cimientos de algo que nunca estuvo del todo consolidado.
¿Qué digo? En realidad no quiero.
Entonces me aburro de hablar con mi pasado porque no encuentro espacio en la conversación. Y simplemente me marcho.

WER VOR DER VERGANGENHEIT DIE AUGEN VERSCHLIESST,

WIRD BLIND FÜR DIE GEGENWART.

Me siento sucia

cuando

no me acuesto pensando en ti

cuando

sucumbo

cuando

escribo sin sentir

cuando

las nubes se evaporan

y la bici se convierte en una extensión de mi ser

cuando

te leo pero no te entiendo

cuando

una mosca se convierte en mi mascota por un par de días

cuando

duermo

respiro

cuando

te anhelo

pero sobre todo

cuando

me sobras.

A.: You love yourself so much, so why is so crazy that someone else would do?

H.: I don't love myself

A.: You are the fucking worse. You know that. Beacuse you think you are not pretty and you are not a good writer and you are not a good friend. Well, you are pretty and you are a good writer and you are a good friend.

H.: Thank you...

A.: Is this the game? You chase me like I'm the fucking Beatles for six months so that I finally get comfortable and you shrug. What the fuck is wrong with you?

H.: I am scared ok? I am really scared all the time. I am like very scared all the time.

A.: Join the fucking club!

H.: No, cause I am more scared than most people are when they say they are scared. I am like the most scared person who is alive.

A.: Well you don't have the right to be. I told you once I commit to something, I really fucking commit. You asked for this and now you've been a fucking bitch

H.: Come on, ok? You are scared. I am looking at you. I know you are scared. You are acting if you are not, but you are. I know you now. We've been doing that for a while. I know you now

A.: Stop! Stop! You don't know me. You don't know shit about me. You don't know me and you don't know yourself. You think that cause you are 11 pounds overweight you know struggle?

H.: I am 13 pounds overweight and it has been awful for me my whole life.

A.: I don't care a fucking shit. Here is the world's smallest tiny violin playing My heart bleeds for you. Fuck you. You don't know struggle. I am a beautiful fucking mistery to you.

Girls.

Some people make you feel the opposite of clean.

Días tontos II

Días tontos.
Crisis que no son tales.
Países que no son los nuestros.
Idiomas que nos resultan ajenos.
Sentimientos que nos embaucan.
Trabajo.
Chicos.
Música.
Lluvia.
Soledad.
Días tontos.